It just wouldn't be sweeps without an exciting celebrity molestation trial

It’s that magical time of year we call sweeps and all of our favorite shows are building to dramatic finales, news programs are starting to air whatever scandalous nonsense they can, and every network is bringing out any and all ratings weapons they have at their disposal. But above all else, it’s time to wake up Michael Jackson and drag him through the mud to celebrate another February/ November/ May ratings blitz.

Child abuse is a very big problem in the world today, and over the past few years we’ve come to learn that children are not even safe while hidden in the “innocence” of the Catholic Church. The fact that any parent has to worry about their son or daughter falling victim, or even the child having to learn not to trust anyone is a blight upon our society. For years we have been hearing about how Michael Jackson is among the worst offenders, but I’m not as much convinced about his supposedly unseemly ways than I am that all of the district attorneys and news outlets are abusing our brains and lives with this dog and pony show.

For me, at least, it is hard to determine any time or difference between when Michael is on trial and when he is not. It seems like this has been one big party where everyone just keeps showing up in waves. And a party it most certainly is – there are more celebrities traipsing through that little court room in Santa Barbara than there are on Hollywood Boulevard. From George Lopez arriving in a limousine to Macaulay Culkin’s scathing testimony, there is more tabloid gold in this quiet beach town than there is in Liza Minelli’s bedroom.

There is always something going on in the Jackson camp and right now the prosecution has just subpoenaed Michael’s ex-attorney Mark Geragos who was once fired since his attention was divided between Jackson and some guy who killed his wife and unborn son. In retrospect that may have been a wise move. But Geragos has it quite right – according to CNN he is refusing to show up in court because he is too busy, while the prosecution’s response is that he should be treated like any other citizen and forced to appear. But they have it quite backwards, because it is safe to say that we are all way too busy doing more important things than trying Michael Jackson for being, if nothing else, a weirdo.

Why is it that we enjoy poking fun at Michael Jackson? We loved him so dearly in the eighties when he reigned as “the King of Pop,” but now our country just can’t seem to get enough of dragging this very confused and twisted black/ white man through the dirt. It is getting to the point where it appears everyone is fabricating stories to bury Michael even further, as shown by Macaulay Culkin’s testimony that allegations of his abuse by Jackson are “absolutely ridiculous.” How many different children has the prosecution put on the stand against Michael, only to be exposed in their lies by the defense? Why can’t we just let this crazy man live on his ranch in the obvious pain and suffering he would have even without all this publicity?

But perhaps this is not about Michael Jackson and saving Southern California’s children from his supposed lechery. Perhaps it is more about being able to fill our airwaves with “Whacko Jacko” programming in order to boost the ratings. The worst offender in this right is E! Entertainment Television with its show,“The Michael Jackson Trial.” I saw the report about this nightly program on "The Daily Show" but I didn’t quite realize the extent of this atrocity until I looked up the web site. E! has cast the entire roster of characters from the defense attorneys, to the judge, to Michael himself, and we all know that starving LA actors were lining up out the door in silly long, white-haired wigs just to get this role of a lifetime. The site also includes a daily rundown of what happened in court, followed by the scorecard of the defense vs. prosecution. Right now it looks like a close battle, so we’re going to have to hope the defense can hold the opposition to fourth and long to block the field goal.

Of all the problems in the world, why has Michael Jackson become among the largest? I feel badly for him every time I see him on the news, just for the inner turmoil that comes from being a child superstar on top of the obvious mental disconnect he has been dealing with for decades. That much plastic surgery cannot be the product of a sound mind and holding sleepovers with other children is certainly more of an indication that they are the only people he can relate to than it is a sign that he is a danger to society. I say let him be – let’s focus on the important issues like the fact that Iran is trying to gain the capability to kill every last one of us, that Iraq is still the hotbed of terrorism it was three years ago, and that Tony Blair will never be the prime minister that Margaret Thatcher was.

I suppose we should be thankful that we live in secure enough times to not have more to worry about than a pop-star-gone-horribly-wrong’s penchant for the young’ns, but if we’re already only using ten percent of our brains, then we need to stop wasting what little we are using on blaming society’s problems on the sick, twisted, beloved rock idols of our past. And I’m sure David Bowie and Mick Jagger would agree.