Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Consumers

Revenge of the Sith will show us the Dark
Side and its penchant for non-ergonomic
capes. 12:00 AM this Thursday will bring about a watershed event that will either signal the beginning or the end of an era. The nation will hold its breath and millions of people will venture into public wearing outfits that would usually be enough to have them committed. Citizens with careers and normal lives will have already shirked the luxuries of modern living to sleep on the streets of cities across America and a small group of individuals at Skywalker Ranch in Marin County, California will be watching their TV and computer screens to see if they have won what is, at this point, a pop-culture lottery. This event is the premiere of the final chapter of the Star Wars saga, Episode III: Revenge of the Sith.

The original three films released in the late 70’s stunned the world with not only their amazing visual and special effects, but also the revolutionary thinking that brought our favorite heroes Luke Skywalker, Han Solo, and of course the lovely Princess Leia on a whirlwind adventure through a galaxy far, far away a long time ago. The re-releases of these films twenty years later far surpassed E.T. as the all time box-office gross champions, yet when the first installment of the trilogy of prequels hit, we all heard the loudest, most deafening whimper that either the previous or the current generation has experienced. Let’s face it – George Lucas’ celebrated genius that brought us the Academy Award winning and, for some, life-altering Star Wars films has been surprisingly absent in the most recent run of this saga.

Episode I: The Phantom Menace managed to pull down what would be a staggering $431 million, but for this long-awaited film you would expect it to at least outdo Titanic. The introduction of Jar-Jar Binks and the incredibly complicated underlying pretext have left this film to be ridiculed by many, including "The Simpsons." This sentiment showed when the second installment, Episode II: Attack of the Clones, failed to even meet its predecessor, falling short by more than $100 million. And now, when the eager public should be expecting the incredible climax that will complete this story, it is instead holding Lucas to task in hopes that he can redeem himself from this veritable mess.

But it looks like there is hope – the reviews indicate Episode III is the breath of fresh air we have all been waiting for. The rumors appear to be true that the other two films were simply filler and plot-building, but this is where the meat of the story was meant to be all along. Magazines and newspapers are hailing the relationship between Lucas and Hayden Christiansen that has finally been able to blossom in this project and we should all be able to expect the excellent acting and emotion that we’ve been grasping for over the last five years, albeit with a bit of muted elation.

The bar has been set so low that the reviews largely indicate all Lucas has to do in order to make this finale a success is to play it out and not mess it up along the way. Bob Strauss of the Los Angeles Daily News says in his positive review, “We are all preprogrammed in one way or another to want Episode III: Revenge of the Sith to climax in the way it does. All George had to do was not screw that up. He didn’t.” How could this fantastic brainchild have gone awry? Could it be because Lucas should not have been anywhere near the writing process? When asked about the romantic dialogue, Natalie Portman said, “I’ll take the Fifth on that. It’s fun stuff to work on but it’s not Shakespeare.” Perhaps Anakin’s very forward advances and deadpan discussions of how he’s dying inside when he’s around Padme can attest to that. Or perhaps it is the fact that when I sat down to watch the first two films with my co-workers who have read the books, watched all the supplemental materials and done any other immersion into the Star Wars universe one possibly can, we realized that the movies only just now made sense because we paused the opening crawls and analyzed the political subtexts that are the basis for these plots. The whole Trade Federation blockade and trade route taxation and…zzz…oh, sorry. These concepts are so obscure that not even the most adept adult could comprehend them, much less the twelve-year-olds.

And speaking of the twelve-year-olds, I think it’s safe to say that even they didn’t even accept Jar Jar Binks’ ludicrous “comedic” relief. Let’s leave the fart and excrement jokes to Jim Carrey. He’s good at that.

In an interview with Entertainment Weekly Lucas said, “People have taken possession of the films. I like that fans are independent and freethinking, but it does tend to get a bit dogmatic.” It’s apparent that Lucas has checked out completely from his obligation to this cultural icon. But if that’s the case, why did he insist on directing the films himself? The Empire Strikes Back, which is largely hailed as the greatest film of the entire saga, was only produced by Lucas and directed by Irvin Kershner. Lucas is incredibly talented at dreaming up the story and the technical aspects, but perhaps he should have kept with tradition and left the direction and writing to someone else.

I must say though, I am a sucker for a great story and overall these movies have provided us with exactly that. I already have my ticket, and reserved seat no less, to see this conclusion at the Arclight’s Cinerama dome and despite the letdown of the previous two installments, I am waiting with great optimism to see exactly how these two worlds will connect. Even though Geroge Lucas may have dropped the ball by the standards set by his adoring public, he has still managed to keep us salivating for nearly thirty years. So hats off to Mr. Lucas! We should all be so fortunate to have his talent and a medium to display it.

Now all that’s left to do is by some AA’s for my lightsaber and get my Jedi robe back from the cleaners. I wouldn’t want to have to show up to the theatre inappropriately dressed.